One Day

I thought I was better
Turns out that I'm not
Because there is no cure
For the thing that I got
I'm drowning in madness
I'm driven to sin
My life is now tangled
There's no way to win

I'm sick in the head
With visions I don't want
Of scenarios and catastrophe's
That are somehow my fault
I work so very hard
To keep them from happening
But in the end I find
That I don't live in reality

I'm always the problem
Never the answer
I'm always in the wrong
Clearly I'm the cancer
I'm sick of paddling
On this ocean of hate
I think I'm done now
It's not too late

I will make it to shore
I will find my own way
So maybe I will be better
Just maybe... One day

Written June 14, 2018 By Zara S. Porteous

Ill Fated

Weep for the loss of the innocent

Weep for the loss of the soul

Prepare for the damned and forsaken

May the darkness inside take its toll

Mourn for the loss of salvation

Cry out for what has been taken

Prepare yourself for your final breath

Let the beast be unleashed to the night

Beg for your heart to be broken 

Stumble your way through the thorns 

Don't dare to take one unwavering step 

Because the wrong one might be your curse 

Bare your heart to the wicked

Shield it from the saints 

Never forget the dead and the broken 

Their reward will seal your fate 

Throw away the hope from the sunlight

Embrace the cold of the night 

Become one of the lost and the weary 

May the moon be your guide 

Written May 24, 2018 by Zara Sky P. 

It's Okay

It's enough to just be okay

And focus on the day

Ignoring the tomorrow's and sorrows it may bring

It's enough to just stand

To breathe

And wake up in the morning

Even if you go back to sleep

It's enough to keep your heart beating

To not give up

And to resist the urge to say goodbye

To throw away everything that's rotting inside

It's okay to lay down and cry 

To bury yourself and hide

Grief has no correct way of being

There's no wrong way 

To be sad

Or lonely

So it's okay

To feel 

Cheerful, guilty and angry

And to just be who you are today

Written May 4, 2018 by Zara P. 

Lead Blanket

It feels like a leaden blanket

Laying across your body

Sometimes it feels like it's not there

But then you trip

And it tightens on you again

Your head is swollen

Like a big black balloon

But it's filled with nothing

Just hot air 

With little room for something real 

My body feels so heavy

So broken

It won't work right

My feet refuse to walk the straight line

Am I drunk again? 

No, that's not right 

Everything is too busy, too loud, too...

And nothing feels the same

How has this world gone on

Without you

There's laughter and cheer

And they expect you to share some 

But you don't

You can't

Nothing is right

It's only wrong 

Like the leaden blanket around your shoulders

When you should be given a hug 

R.I.P. you know who you are <3 

January 14, 2018 Zara S. Porteous