Memories of You

It was nice to know 

That someone was there 

Who understood 

And stayed with me

During the darkness

I wasn't alone

You endured this, too

Maybe I can get through this

As long as it's with you

You were a voice for millions
You spoke the words that they couldn't speak
You even had words left for me
We sat together
And weathered this despair
When the days came
That I swore I couldn't do this anymore
You shed the light
For me to see

But now you're gone

I can't wait for you anymore

I feel pretty empty

Aside from my memories of you 

Sitting beside me

And holding my hand

Whispering that we'll get through this

It isn't the end

The stormy days are upon me
Can I get through this
Like we used to
Except now I'm alone
With just my memories of you
They won't keep me warm
Clothed or fed
But maybe they'll be just enough
To save me in the end

I'll think of you and smile

Despite the tears on my cheeks 

Of how you would hold me

And brush away my fears

So rest now
Find peace
I pray that where you are now
Is better than the place you used to be
I'll keep you in my memories
It's enough
To last me until
We can meet again
My friend

Written by Zara P. September 29, 2017 

Irrational

It feels like vomit

Surging in my stomach

Climbing up my throat

But it's not

It's just my friend

Anxiety

Oh no

I had an encounter

With unpleasant things

Time to hide

Panic

Run and cry

It itches

And scratches

At my skin and bones

The headache is coming

That's the way it goes

Why am I like this

How will this end

I reach for that glass

Beside my bed

Fill it with liquor

And just try to relax

I'm drowning in my fears again

Screaming won't help

Alleviate this pain

Only the amber liquid

Swimming through my veins

Stop this

Stop this

Stop this monster

That chokes me and holds me down

It takes my energy away

So I lie here and wait

For this episode to end

Why does this happen

What purpose does this have

My brain creates these irrational fears

That clearly I deserve

It feels like vomit

Spilling from my mouth

Why did I even bother

Leaving my house

Stop this

Leave me

I'll be fine

I guess

Written by Zara. P, September 8, 2017